KUALA LUMPUR – Ever since her husband walked out on her and their two children 25 years ago, Poh Kim Pheng has been the sole breadwinner of her family.
Both her children – a son aged 34 and a daughter, 32 – are mentally ill and she herself suffered from bouts of depression twice. This single mother, who is a mathematics and chemistry graduate from the University of Ireland, persevered to start her own interior design business.
For her determination and contribution to society and her children’s achievement, Poh, now 66, was nominated as one of the 15 finalists for the Single Parent Award 2007, organised by Wanita MCA.
“I am a single parent.”
Choosing to parent alone is all it takes to unleash an avalanche of strong emotions. With or without bad publicity, being a sole parent seems to have more than one’s fair share to carry.
Alone with God
Though our pragmatic world forces us to get ourselves out of the rut without fuss, being human we need help. We cannot let our harsh impersonal world to shape us into an isolated rock island. We still need to circulate within the intricate network of interpersonal relationships and interdependency.
To achieve balance in a relationship (without being overdependent), is to be anchored in God. A stable relationship with a Fatherly God changes one’s temporary worldview to an eternal perspective, “And for anyone who is in Christ, there is a new creation; the old creation has gone, and now the new one is here” (2 Cor 4:17-18).
No one can change without changing his/her own world first. Being in a trusting relationship with Christ not only changes our inner world, but renews us mentally and physically. In Christ we are:
- assured of the hope of a more fulfilling life ahead
- confident that we do not have to go through this trial alone
- freed from the debilitating hurt of rejection, betrayal and anger.
- empowered when we can no longer continue on our own strength
- safe to surrender control to diminish the compulsive fear of the unknown
- given the chance to make good all that we have spoilt, missed or destroyed
You may be the single, sole, lone, or one parent family,
yet God looks after you.
God knows what you are going through.
In Christ, you are God’s own beloved child. He knows your suffering and all that you are going through, for he delights in you.
“O Lord, you have searched me
and known me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out
and lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O God.
You hem me in – behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is
too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.”
God is with you
Because God loves he wants to be with us. He send us his beloved Son, Jesus Christ, who was born, lived, suffered, crucified, died, buried and rose from the dead just to be with us.
“The virgin will be with child
and will give birth to a son,
and they will call him ‘Immanuel’, which means, God with us.”
Wanting to be with us in a permanent manner God became man. And God always sticks to his promise:
“But Zion said,
‘The Lord has forsaken me,
the Lord has forgotten me’.
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you in the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.”
God of hope
Christian hope, unlike optimism, has no room for delusion. Rooted in God’s absolute faithfulness, hope anticipates God fulfilling all his promises.
“Thus he remembers his holy covenant, the oath he swore
to our father Abraham.”
“For he who promised is faithful.”
Choose to live with hope
Assured of being set free and being empowered to live life fully, you can now choose to live your life with the difference in Christ.
“He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption.”
“They cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distress.”
“Take my yoke upon you
and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart.
And you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy
and my burden is light.”
I believe in you,
and I entrust myself to Christ,
who died for me.
through my broken life
with your love
that I cannot live without.
Thank you for loving me
and being with me
to live as your new creation
in Christ, my Lord and Saviour. Amen.