After going through much heartache of fighting and bitterness from being put down, Paul and Josephine cannot simply will themselves to fall in love and feel good with each other again.
Both partners need to recover physically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually to learn to stay in love, which takes more than sheer determination and know-how. It requires hope to relate with the spouse, whom we have deemed as unlovable.
Back to basics
Key to a ‘staying-in-love’ relationship
Choose to hope
Perhaps the greatest tragedy of our time is not so much the high incidence of broken marriages, but our misplaced beliefs about them. A broken relationship is seen as a mystery of chance, a combination of fate, age gap, gender war, hormones, and pure bad luck. Once it strikes, nothing can be done, a gone case. Being labelled as fated, and worse, without hope, it is ‘incurable’, or ‘terminal’.
With the emergence of a culture of death, Christian Hope is all the more vital in restoring wholeness to suffering couples. As Disciples of Christ, we can set in motion the trend of Hope for all. Thus, choosing and working in hope to restore broken marriages is an imperative need of our time.
Christians, especially couples, can be a living testimony of the power of Hope in healing and restoring broken relationships.
There is no real excellence in this world that can be separated from right living: Christian Living and Lifestyle. It implies compliance to the inherent laws and order that govern our physical, social, mental, emotional, and spiritual growth and fulfillment. Shaping our life in accordance with the commandments of God is the key to maintaining a loving relationship. Remember what breaks us is never what we do once a while, but what we do as a routine and on a daily basis.
Fostering relationship as a daily routine
Isn’t it true that the little choices we make can have tremendous consequences?
Isn’t it true, then, that there is nothing which does not matter?
Do I take my feelings and words for granted? [My spouse should know me by now!]
Keeping a relationship:
– Everything counts!
– Choose to be grateful for everything
– Appreciate and recognise good intentions
– Acknowledge efforts and not only success
What we feel, think, believe and do all the time will either make or break a relationship.
Do I realise that my habit of putting my spouse down is causing deep disconnection?
Do I realise that my nagging has caused my spouse to withdraw and build stone walls?
Keeping a relationship:
– We are what we repeatedly do
– Then keeping a relationship is not an act, but a habit!
– Be conscious of our attitude and behaviour
Christian couples, being empowered by Christ and the Sacrament of marriage, can confidently overcome every blockage and restore disconnection.
With sure hope, couples can overcome and live life more fully as intended by Christ our Lord.
– “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Rom 8:31)
O God, increase love and faithfulness in all marriages, especially those going though times of suffering or difficulty, and shed your grace and blessing on all families worldwide. We ask this through Jesus Christ your Son, Our Lord. Amen.